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All the Podcasts I’ve Appeared On (UPDATED Feb. 2019)

It dawned on me that I’ve been on a lot more podcasts since the last time I indexed them, so I figured I’d update that list for all of you. For most of these, I appeared as a guest or guest host, discussing everything from storytelling to video games to Godzilla (no surprise, right? Heck, I’ve kinda become the “kaiju guy” in most of my circles, and with good reason).

Admittedly, there are few not listed here. I recorded a podcast with Zachery Oliver for “Theology Gaming” that was lost when he had computer problems. The same thing happened with “The Bestselling Fiction Podcast” hosted by Dan Dynneson.

Titles with an asterisk (*) were on the original list.

Happy listening!

Kaijuvision Radio

This is a podcast I co-created with Brian Scherschell on “the appreciation of giant monster movies and the discovery of their historical and cultural value.” I was the co-host for season one (episodes 1-36 plus two interviews), but sadly I had to step down before season two. I’m proud of the work I did on the show, so I obviously I’d love it if all of you listened to it. Even if you’re not into kaiju but enjoy learning about Japan, it’s a great podcast to listen to. Here’s the website.

Geek Devotions

(NEW!) This is a ministry headed by Dallas and Celeste Mora—“a pair of devoted geeks devoted to letting people know they are loved”—that uses nerd culture as outreach. They have a podcast, Comm Talk, a YouTube channel, and a website. Dallas was one of KVR’s first fans and promoters, so he invited us onto the YouTube channel for an interview as part of King of the Monsters Month in October 2017.

–Extra Tuesday – Interview with Kaijuvision Radio

Derailed Trains of Thought*
A show on storytelling and creativity hosted by my friends Nick Hayden and Tim Deal.
–Episode 3: From Boredom to Book – They interview me when I published by first book, Pandora’s Box.
–Sidetrack 2: Peeking Inside the Box – I’m not in this, but an excerpt of my novel is read by Nick’s wife, Natasha.
–Episode 17: Magic, Muggles, and Morals – I read an excerpt from Destroyer.
–Episode 20: Everything But the Kitchen Sink – I’m one of multiple guests who returns briefly for the show’s first anniversary. I announce I’m writing new books.
–Sidetrack 6: Children of the Wells Round Table – I and my collaborators talk about working on our ongoing post-apocalyptic contemporary fantasy series Children of the Wells.
–Episode 50: Guest Starring…Everybody! – In this anniversary episode, I’m one of several returning guests who “audition” in multiple segments to be a third co-host.
–Episode 61: Shut Up and Buy My Book – I return to DToT to discuss how writers can promote their books. In this day and age, writers must also do their own PR.

The Weekly Hijack*
A “spin-off” podcast from “Derailed Trains of Thought” that discusses TV shows.
-Episode 27: Doctor Who – The Magician’s Apprentice – I discuss the season nine premiere of Doctor Who with Nick Hayden, Tim Deal, and several others. (Scroll through the episode listing to find it).

Strangers and Aliens 
A show about faith, fantasy, and science fiction co-hosted by my buddy Ben Avery, who’s a comic writer

–Episode 127: GODZILLA (Summer Movie Series)* – I review the new Godzilla film with host Ben Avery.
-(NEW!) Episode 255: COLOSSAL Feat. Nathan Marchand – I return to review another kaiju movie with Ben: the unique indie film Colossal that stars Anne Hathaway.

Theology Gaming University*
A show about Christianity and video games.

–Podcast #58 – Video Games Inspiring Other Media – Theology Gaming – My friend Eric Anderson and I discuss video game adaptations to other media with host Zachery Oliver.
–Podcast #62 – I discuss why gamers replay video games they’ve already played with host Zachery Oliver and TGU regular Bryan Hall.
–TG Sessions #9 – Cheapness (I.e., You’re Not Special) – Zachery Oliver and I discuss what makes certain things “cheap” in both single-player and multiplayer video games.
–TG Sessions #10 – Batman’s Fifty Shades of White Privilege – Remember when this video made me a troll magnet? I also incurred the wrath of trolls about an essay I wrote for TGU. Zachery Oliver and I discuss all of this.
–Podcast #72 – One in a Mijinion – I join Zachery Oliver and Roberto Iraheta 20 minutes in, and in our ramblings we set out to solve a very important mystery: What the heck is an Infinity Mijinion? (In case you don’t know, that’s a Mega Man boss).

Forever Classic Podcast
(NEW!) This is a show that “seeks enlightenment through video games” started by my former colleague Alex McCumbers (from my GigaGeek Magazine days). Here’s their main website.

–Episode 11: Kaiju Games With Nathan Marchand – Remember what I said about being the kaiju guy? Anyway, Alex invited me on to talk about two of my favorite things: giant monsters and video games. We discuss existing kaiju games—past and present—and what we think would make for a great kaiju game.

Redeemed Otaku
(NEW!) A podcast created and hosted by Bex Smith that seeks to “redeem your love for anime by turning to the truth found only in God’s Word.” Follow the show on Facebook and Twitter.

–42 – My co-author Eric Anderson and I are interviewed about our nerd/geek devotional, 42: Discovering Faith through Fandom.
–Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters – Bex has me on to discuss/review part one of the Godzilla anime trilogy. Being that its kaiju and anime, it was the perfect crossover.
–Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle – I return to Redeemed Otaku—this time joined by my fellow Godzilla fan Eric Anderson—to discuss/review part two of the Godzilla anime trilogy (that has a title weirdly similar to a class Star Trek episode).
–Godzilla: The Planet Eater – In one of the best English-language analyses of the entire Godzilla anime trilogy, Bex, Eric, and I breakdown part three and put the other films into perspective. It truly is the best episode of Redeemed Otaku yet! (Don’t take my word for it—that’s what Bex said!)

This makes me miss having my own podcast.

Do you have a podcast? What’s it about? Would you be interested in having me on?

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The Mythic-ness of Holidays

After a harrowing last few weeks at grad school, what with final papers, grading, and other drama, I’ve finally reached Christmas break (or as I like to call it: my two weeks’ paid vacation). I suddenly have more time on my hands than I’ve been used to for a few months. Hence why I’m able to post a blog for you all. 😉

I’ve always loved this time of the year. I love summer for the freedom, fun, and weather (I have this theory that people like the season they were born in), but October through December is wonderful, in large part because of Halloween and Christmas. I’ve been reflecting on why I like those holidays as much as I do, and while I love them for different reasons, there is some overlap. Besides candy, of course. What’s that, you ask?

They’re mythic.

Both Halloween and Christmas have a tremendous amount of tradition and legend dating back centuries. These add mystique to the respective months leading up to the holidays themselves. Halloween dates back to Celtic harvest festivals and became part of the early Christian Church’s observance of All-Saints Day, which included candlelight vigils at the graves of the dead. As these pagan and religious sensibilities clashed, new traditions arose: trick-or-treating, costumes, horror movies, etc. Classic stories like “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” and Dracula, among others, became icons of the holiday. It makes people think back on those scarier parts of our cultural mythos and everything else those stories represent. When you’re a kid, you relish the opportunity to play pretend, dress up as one of your favorite characters, and wander around your neighborhood gathering candy. If you were particularly mischievous you played pranks. It was the one night you could almost get away with murder (not literally, of course). 😛

But Halloween is behind us, and Christmas is before us. The yuletide season is one of love, generosity, and family. It goes back to winter solstice festivals, but once again, the early Church “Christianized” them by making it a day to remember the birth of Jesus Christ. The strange thing is this wasn’t a big deal until the mid-19th century. What changed it? A Christmas Carol. Yes, Charles Dickens arguably created the modern Christmas celebration. Other authors popularized the legendary Santa Claus, who delivered toys to all the good children of the world on Christmas Eve (because he’s a Time Lord ninja with a bag of holding) using a magical sleigh pulled by eight—or nine—flying reindeer. The night before Christmas is treated as a mystical time where almost anything seems possible, especially in the minds of children. That magic gives way to sheer joy on Christmas morning as everyone enjoys the gifts left by Mr. Claus.

You knew I had to find a nerdy nativity scene. 😛

J.R.R. Tolkien is said to have converted C.S. Lewis to Christianity by telling him that the story of Christ was the greatest myth in history because it was true. For myself, Christmas marks the beginning of that myth. The God of the Universe clothed himself in flesh and allowed himself to be born in the humblest of places to the humblest of parents and is visited the humblest of people. His birth was an invasion of enemy territory, the beginning of an incredible mission culminating with an epic destiny. To me, everything that has to do with Christmas—gifts, fellowship, food, and the traditions I’ve mentioned—all point back to this. It’s one of several reasons why I proudly wear a Santa hat during the week leading up to Christmas. It symbolizes Santa, who was inspired by St. Nicholas, who served the poor and needy out of his devotion to Christ. As we Marvel Cinematic Universe fans are fond of saying, #ItsAllConnected.

So, Merry Christmas, True Believers!

What are some of your favorite holiday traditions? What are you planning to do for Christmas? How else is Christmas “mythic”?

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My Top 10 Favorite Horror Films (Redux)

Happy Halloween, True Believers!

In the spirit of the holiday, I figured my blog this week should be a top five or top ten list for my favorite horror films. I put a list together—and remembered I’d done this in 2014. My list has changed a bit since then, but all five of those films are still on it in a different order. So, the entries with asterisks after the title were copied from the previous blog. Regardless, enjoy the new ones! Admittedly, it was hard to rank many of these, since they’re all great films. They’d make excellent additions to your Halloween festivities. Enjoy!

#10: The Exorcist (1973)

It might surprise you that I have this low on my list. It’s usually regarded as one of the scariest films ever made. (AFI would say that). My appreciation, though, has more to do with its place in history than anything else. I wasn’t allowed to see it growing up because it so terrified my mother as a teen that she forbade her kids to see it. When I finally did watch it, I saw why it’s become an icon of not only horror films but cinema. This is tale of a Catholic priest struggling with his faith while trying to save a little girl (Linda Blair) possessed by a demon. It’s simple, profound, and terrifying. Younger viewers spoiled on CGI laugh at the special effects, which is a disappointment because I think they hold up. It doesn’t help that the film has been parodied to the point that its potency is reduced on the younger crowd. For those who believe the spiritual warfare dramatized in this film is real, or those who have any sort of empathy, this is one of the greatest horror films in movie history.

#9: Suspiria (1977)

Amongst fans of Italian horror films, the name Dario Argento ranks as one of the greatest in the genre. The visionary auteur creates unique, mesmerizing horror movies, and Suspiria is considered to be his masterpiece. This story of an American dancer who joins a German ballet school that seems to be a front for a sinister force after a series of heinous murders is high on style. Argento’s cinematography and incredible use of color creates an unnerving atmosphere and a rich visual language full of symbolism. One of Argento’s trademarks is the use of creepy rock music created by the band Goblin, which makes the film like a commercial haunted house. If you’d like to see a film that feels like an Edger Allan Poe story, check this out!

#8: 28 Days Later (2002)

I had to include this since it was an influence on my first novel, Pandora’s Box. It’s still one of the most unique zombie films ever made. Although, I’d argue that it almost doesn’t count as a zombie flick, at least in the traditional sense. This follows a young man (Cillian Murphy) who wakes up after a 28-day coma to find London empty—except for vicious people infected with a virus that’s essentially rabies on steroids. (For those who’ve read my novel, you’ll understand why I felt like the filmmakers beat me to one of my ideas in the novel). Well before the Infected appear, the film plays on the fear of isolation with an empty city. The characters are the film’s greatest strength, something often lacking in horror movies. Interestingly, three endings were filmed and one considered in the scripting phase. Two of them were shown theatrically. The one used originally in the film is best, I think, since it’s the happiest. (Tragic endings are a bit overused in the genre). Check it out if you’re looking for a taste of British horror.

#7: Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)*

Wes Craven’s classic is a variation of the then popular (and overused) slasher movie: a killer who attacks victims in their dreams. Freddy Krueger became an icon with his trademark sweater, hat, claws, and dark wit. The film has an otherworldly quality to it thanks to the dream sequences. Plus, in a rare treat, it features a strong heroine who refuses to become Freddy’s next victim. Interesting bit of trivia: this is Johnny Depp’s first movie. He plays the heroine’s boyfriend.

#6: Dawn of the Dead (1978)

George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead was a game-changer in 1968, but it’s remembered more for its place in history than anything else. Romero’s first sequel is a classic because it’s a great film. Set in the early years of the zombie apocalypse, a group of survivors take refuge in a mall—until the zombies manage to get in. The characters and world-building would become the template all other zombie apocalypse movies would copy, but they lacked this film’s potent social satire on consumerism. Tom Savini’s gore effects get a lot of attention, but they serve the larger whole. The Italian version put together by Romero’s friend Dario Argento has a score by Goblin (the original film had no soundtrack), which actually complements the film well. A must-see classic for any horror/zombie fan!

The original Japanese poster and the U.S. DVD cover.

#5: Matango (1963)

As the co-creator and season one co-host of Kaijuvision Radio, I almost feel obligated to include this Japanese classic. (My collaborator, Brian Scherschel, will be covering it in the podcast’s current season). Crafted by the creative team behind Toho’s original Godzilla series, this trippy film was made in the tradition of 1930s Universal horror movies. I can best describe it as a story that begins like Gilligan’s Island (though it predates that show), turns into Lost, and ends like The Twilight Zone. Inspired by the short story “A Voice in the Night” by William H. Hodgson (though it’s equal parts Lord of the Flies), it follows a group of shipwrecked rich people on a bizarre island who are beset by mushroom creatures. The film was released on American TV under the unfortunate title Attack of the Mushroom People, which undoubtedly gave a bad impression. The creature effects might be considered quaint by today’s standards, but the real horrors are the characters who slowly turn on each other as the film progresses, giving into whatever vices they suffer from. The ending leaves the viewer with a gut punch of a social commentary. It’s a bit hard to find, but well worth seeing!

#4: John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982)*

This terrifying remake of a ‘50s B-movie is one of the smartest horror films I’ve ever seen. It has none of the stereotypical idiot characters. While it does have gross gore and freakish creatures, the real terror comes from the isolated Antarctic location and the paranoia that rips a tightly-knit science team apart as a shapeshifting alien organism takes over each of them.

#3: Fright Night (1985)*

A horror/comedy that is both genuinely funny and scary, it is a film with a perfectly simple concept: a teenage boy thinks his new next-door neighbor is a vampire, but no one believes him, so he desperately seeks help from a washed-up horror movie actor. The best characters aren’t the teenage hero, but the old actor–played by Roddy McDowall of Planet of the Apes fame—and the vampire (played by Chris Sarandon). The former is a cynical yet likable fellow with sharp, sarcastic wit (who’s not afraid to take jabs at the current horror movie trends), while the latter is a man whose often mesmerizing charm masks a powerful evil. Add in a cat-and-mouse game being played by the desperate teenage boy and his undead nemesis, and you have a fun (and frightening) night out.

#2: Jaws*

The movie that launched director Steven Spielberg’s career, created the summer blockbuster, and arguably inspired Sharknado. While based on the novel by Peter Benchley, it’s one of the rare times, I’d say, that the movie is better than the book (the novel was padded with an unnecessary subplot where Brody’s wife has an affair with Hooper). My favorite character is Quint, played by the scene-stealing Robert Shaw, a grizzled sailor with a Captain Ahab complex. He might be mad, but you can’t help but like his gruff attitude. Spielberg famously kept the anomatronic shark’s screen time to a minimum because he thought it looked fake. By doing so, he increased the film’s tension and gave the monster a stronger presence. Throw in classic lines like, “We need a bigger boat!” and you have an instant classic.

#1: Alien*

“In space, no one can hear you scream.” (One of the best taglines ever!)

If I had to choose a film that would be the blueprint for crafting the perfect horror movie, it would be Ridley Scott’s classic tale of gothic science fiction. It has powerful atmosphere, a terrifying and unique monster, and strong characters (including a countercultural heroine). The set design is incredible. The Nostromo feels both safe and claustrophobic. It plays upon multiple types and levels of fear, including, shadows, the unknown, and even rape. And it includes only one truly gory scene, but it both shocks the audience and adds to the story. It’s too bad that only one of its sequels, James Cameron’s Aliens, even comes close to equaling it.

Honorable Mentions: The Universal Horror Series (too many to include or choose), Night of the Living Dead (1968), Halloween (1978)

What are some of your favorite horror movies/stories/authors?

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Double-Minded: Christian Culture’s Diametrically-Opposed Views of Marriage and Singleness

Buckle up, True Believers. It’s about to get real!

I am a Christian. In fact, as a child I did everything in a church except be born there. While I love the Bible and its theology and doctrine, Christian culture annoys me. Trust me when I say there are huge differences. It’s one of many reasons why I love The Babylon Bee: Christian culture is a frequent target of their satire. As it should be.

Image taken from www.trumpet-call.org.

While there are many problems with the Christian subculture (which I will refer to as “the church” from here on), one of the most egregious, in my opinion, is that it is double-minded when it comes to marriage and singleness. To put it succinctly, if you’re already married, it sings the praises of marriage and family, but if you’re single, it does little or nothing to help you get married and tells you singleness is superior to marriage.

I’m sorry, church, but you can’t have it both ways.

Go to any church and you’ll see how it’s family-centric. There are programs for parents, spouses, kids, and teens. Some offer programs for college students and recent graduates, but they seem to assume that everyone gets married by their mid-20s—if not sooner—so little is offered for those who aren’t. There are frequent sermon series on how to have a good marriage or be better parents. It’s hard to not go a week without hearing the theology of marriage; how it’s an earthly echo of Jesus Christ and his “bride,” the Church. (This is something that isn’t meant to be taken literally, by the way). In other words, most of the Christian subculture is centered on marriage and family.

Just don’t expect it to help you get married, like I said.

When it comes to taking steps toward marriage, in my experience, the church is mostly famine and little feast. Generally it seems to think relationships happen by osmosis. It rarely facilitates opportunities for young people—who frequently express their desire to be married—to meet each other and fall in love. Yet in the rare instances when they speak on the issue, they say the church is the best place to meet someone special. All that “unequally yoked” stuff, right? But there are hardly any programs for singles beyond college. And don’t even think about being single after age 30! You’ll be a misfit among misfits. The church won’t have any idea what to do with you. The rare times anyone in the church does try to help singles get to marriage, they’re obnoxiously overzealous or have nothing to offer but empty platitudes.

But then there’s the insult added to singles’ injuries.

The church’s praise of marriage ceases with singles. No longer is it this wonderful, covenantal portrait of Christ’s love. No, it’s a distraction. Instead of Ephesians 5, singles get 1 Corinthians 7. They’re told that marriage will narrow their scope, distract them from serving God, and even make them preoccupied with “earthly” things (there is no marriage in Heaven, after all). The only benefit they might mention is it can help curtail sexual sin, and even that seems like a concession they wish they didn’t have to make. In other words, marriage is a detriment to the single’s faith. This implicitly condemns the institution of marriage, ignoring the fact that it was created by God before Adam and Eve sinned. It wasn’t a byproduct of the Fall that God had roll with. This mindset also ignores the personal and societal benefits of marriage, many of which are being missed because of the culture of protracted singleness (to which the church has contributed some, but that’s a blog for another day).

What this does to Christian singles is it leaves them silently shamed. They desire marriage, but they’re told it’s a detriment to their faith and potential. If it’s a hindrance, why would they desire it? Should they? Why would Christ allow them to desire something that would distract them from serving Him? Yet the church tells the married majority that matrimony is sacred and powerful and must be protected. Why do you think Christian churches are always the ones fighting for the definition of marriage being “one man and one woman”? The irony is they’re just as likely to tell singles it isn’t worth it. Maybe for the sake of consistency they should tell married couples to all get divorced so they can have “undistracted service” for Christ. Oh wait, God says He hates divorce, so they hate divorce.

This is a catch-22 full of knots that the church keeps chewing in the mouth from which is talks out of both sides.

Singles aren’t second-class citizens nor are they inherently superior because they’re unmarried. Their desire for marriage is a good thing. It should be respected, nurtured, and encouraged. The pain they feel from this unfulfilled desire should be met with compassion and understanding and not lectures on contentment and 1 Corinthians 7. Doing that is no different than telling someone whose grandmother has died that he shouldn’t mourn because she’s “in a better place.” This is a pain most singles don’t just “get over.” To be alone (and rejected) when you desire a spouse is a form of widowhood. The Bible frequently commands Christians to care for widows.

What the church needs is consistency. Celebrate marriage with everyone. Help singles maximize their lives where they are and don’t shame them for desiring a spouse. For those rare few who’ve been called to singleness, give them opportunities not afforded to married people. Modes of service don’t decrease with marriage—they just change.

Marriage is hard, but so is singleness. Depending on the person, one or the other will be more difficult. Someone should never be forced into either one if God didn’t create them to be that way. It’s a simple concept. But the church has trouble grasping such things.

Are you a single who’s been hurt by these conflicting mindsets? How so? What do you think can be done to remedy these problems?

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Why We Love Caricatured Villains

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember any of it,” said the dastardly dictator M. Bison.

“You don’t remember?!” blurted the heroic Chun-Li, having just told him the story of how he killed her father.

“For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me…it was Tuesday.”

As a friend once said, that is the perfect troll response.

In case you didn’t know, the 1994 Jean-Claude Van Damme Street Fighter is one of my favorite bad movies. Ming-Na Wen is well-cast as Chun-Li; it’s funny intentionally and unintentionally; and while his accent is way too thick, Van Damme at least fights well as Guile.

But the biggest reason I love this flick is Raul Julia’s M. Bison. It takes an exceptional actor to make a speech about the “Pax Bisonica” and do it with such conviction. He actually researched real dictators like Mussolini to give what could’ve been a one-dimensional, cartoonish Bond villain a bit more depth and sophistication. He also had the charisma to chew the scenery and make it entertaining. (It’s sad that he died shortly after the movie was released).

Have you ever noticed that audiences tend to love over-the-top villains more than over-the-top heroes? Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars films. Jack Nicholson’s Joker in Batman. Dr. Doom in Roger Corman’s unreleased Fantastic Four movie. Heck, even my own Marcus the Morally-Dubious from Ninjas and Talking Trees. But if you try to google “over-the-top heroes,” you’ll be hard-pressed to find examples (though they do exist).

Why is this?

I believe it goes back to something that has been said by several famous Christian thinkers:

“The devil…that proud spirit…cannot endure to be mocked.”
-St. Thomas More

“The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.”
-Martin Luther

“Above all else, the devil cannot stand to be mocked.”
-C.S. Lewis

The last one is my favorite because it comes from The Screwtape Letters, an epistolary novel written by Lewis. It’s a satire where an elder demon, the titular Screwtape, writes letters to his nephew Wormwood on how to secure the damnation of the human he’s been assigned. It is laugh-out-loud funny at points. (My favorite part is where Screwtape gets so angry, he stops writing and his letter is completed by another demon, who says that Screwtape transformed into a giant insect in his rage).

While M. Bison and these other over-the-top villains are hardly the Prince of Darkness, they’re certainly caricatures of evil. Some aren’t necessarily meant to be taken seriously, but it’s clear that their actions are evil. These exaggerations make their evil more palpable, and when used as satire, they make the audience ponder the nature and meaning of evil. Lewis does this with Screwtape.

However, these characters are still absurd parodies. The audience can laugh at their grandiose plans, flamboyant gestures, and ridiculous fashion senses. This is because we can’t laugh at real-life evil. Paradoxically, as Screwtape illustrates, by laughing at the Devil, humanity robs him of some of his power. This, in turn, can be extended to these villains. Since, as Christian theology says, the Devil is the source of all evil, these villains are his “children,” his “little devils.” By laughing at them, the audience is laughing at the Devil. It’s yet another thing that illustrates my personal belief that deep within every human soul they remember Eden and the tragedy of losing it. God said in Genesis 3:15a, “…I will put enmity between you and the woman [Eve], and between your offspring and hers.” Buried though it may be under a sinful nature, this enmity toward the Devil is inside all of humanity. The love of caricatured villains is a manifestation of this, and since I believe one can’t believe in the existence of the Devil without believing in the existence of God, I could almost make the argument that the ironic love of Raul Julia’s M. Bison disproves atheism.

Who are your favorite over-the-top villains? How do they serve the same function as The Screwtape Letters? Or, how do you disagree with my notion?

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Moving to the Fortress of Solitude

Once again I’ve neglected my website. My apologies, True Believers. To make up for it, I’ll be giving you two blogs a week for at least two weeks on Thursdays and Saturdays.

Caprice?

Good.

Moving on….

Image taken from www.baruch.cuny.edu.

Speaking of moving (see what I did there?), I just made a major move. If you’ve been following my blog, you know I just started grad school. I’m studying for an M.A. in English with a writing concentration. Along with that, I moved. To Fort Wayne, Indiana, to be specific. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. Call me weird (most people do), but I like this city. I have a lot of connections here thanks to family, college, and growing up nearby. Unlike when I moved to Bluffton, Indiana, in 2007, I have a built-in support network. Plus, this city is the perfect size for me: not too big to overwhelm the rural/small town kid in me, and not too small that it lacks amenities.

It was tough the first two weeks of school. I was commuting or staying with friends while balancing classes, teaching (I’m a graduate teaching assistant), and a part-time job on the side. I survived, obviously.

Then came the move.

I spent all of Labor Day weekend moving into an apartment in a nice little community next door to the university. Unfortunately, I learned again that transitions are messy. Packing was laborious. My parents said they’d help me and not to rent a moving truck. We’d just caravan everything to Fort Wayne. Well, that didn’t work out as well as we’d hoped. It required several trips over the entire weekend. There was miscommunication over whether I needed to drive back every day to help move furniture and transport more boxes. There was even some drama over from who I would get some of my furniture (most of which were “hand-me-downs,” but I feel no shame). This ramped up tensions and led to some…spirited discussions, shall we say? But when it was all said and done, I managed to get 95% of my stuff here.

Moving will make you want to become a minimalist. I never realized how much stuff I own—or how I managed to cram most of it into one room—until I moved. My increased space-consciousness combined with a need for some extra spending cash has inspired me to start selling some things on eBay. (Check out my auctions here). I was inspired to do this by a podcast I listened to recently that interviewed a toy collector who said he would sell pieces he wasn’t in love with to make room for stuff he did love (and to earn what he called “toy karma,” i.e. good standings with other collectors who could help him get other items).

Unfortunately, I still haven’t unpacked or fully decorated my place yet. I want to make it my own.

The Fortress of Solitude. (Image taken from www.Screenrant.com).

Admittedly, while I believe God led to me this community (that’s a story in and of itself), I have a two-bedroom two-bathroom apartment all to myself, so it’s lonely oftentimes. I went on Facebook and asked my friends to suggest names for my apartment. I got many good ones—“Darf’s Lair” and “The Nate Cave” among my favorite runners-up—but I ended up going with “The Fortress of Solitude.” For those who don’t know, this is the name of Superman’s Antarctic “hideout.” It’s essentially the ultimate man-cave (“Superman-cave”?). While it sounds kinda depressing, I thought it fit because Superman usually goes to there alone to get away from things, and it’s full of awesomely cool stuff.

At some point soon, I hope to have an overdue housewarming party. But I want to finish unpacking and decorating first. It doesn’t feel…uniquely me yet. That will be remedied soon, though.

What was the biggest move you’ve made? How did it go? What advice would you offer someone as he settles into a new place?

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Narcissism’s Illusion

Today’s blog—the second for this week—is somewhat related to my previous one.

Recent events in my life prompted me to research gaslighting, which then led me to look into narcissism. I realize that I, for whatever reason, am a magnet for narcissists. In fact, the people who have hurt the most and worst have been narcissists. I could name at least six or seven people whose words and actions have scarred me, and while I’m only an amateur armchair psychologist, they certainly fit the bill.

I had a “friend” (I use that word loosely) in college who was a pretentious elitist. I’ll call him “H.” He thought he was smarter than some of his professors and usually didn’t hang out with his peers because he thought he was better than most of them. Heck, I’d go to him for advice about getting a girlfriend even though he thought the girls on campus weren’t good enough for him. It was condescending, in retrospect. Anyway, without getting into all the gory details, I saw who he really was when he stabbed in the back (not literally, of course, but I sometimes think it would’ve been easier if he had).

The massive laser cannon from the original Star Trek. (Image taken from Memory Alpha).

At one point I was talking with another friend about H having an ego the size of a mountain. My friend said H’s arrogance was a front, a mask. He compared it to a scene from a pair of episodes of the original Star Trek called “The Cage” and “The Menagerie.” These episodes feature one of the Enterprise’s earlier missions when the ship was under the command of Capt. Pike. Anyway, the crew visited a desolate planet, and Pike is kidnapped by big-headed telepathic aliens called Talosians and taken underground. They go down an elevator hidden behind a thick door. Spock and the away team try to blast through the door with their laser (not phaser) pistols, but despite the explosions and debris, the door remains intact. They later bring in a huge laser cannon, which makes even bigger explosions and more debris, but the door still looks untouched. It’s later revealed the Talosians create illusions with their telepathy, which they used to hide the fact that the door had been destroyed. My friend said H’s arrogance—his narcissism—was an illusion. Our criticisms only seemed to have no effect on him. The truth was he was a fragile, damaged person who wanted to present himself as invincible.

On one hand, thinking of it this way, I can pity people like H. They’re afraid to be vulnerable, to let people know their weaknesses, so they put on a front. On the other hand, their narcissism leads them to manipulate, use, and abuse others. They’re control freaks with superiority complexes. To them people are toys and/or tools to be discarded when they’re no longer of use. H told me he did what he did to me because he was bored. The father of one of my ex-girlfriends refused to believe any man was worthy of his daughter so he treated her like a “porcelain doll” (her words). More recently, a colleague forced me out of project so he could have complete control of it.

I recently heard Steven Crowder say in a podcast that it is weak people who will betray and bully others (generally speaking). It’s because they fear strength. I’ve concluded that narcissists fit this description. Their narcissism is an illusion they cast to hide their weakness. They’re obsessed with what others think of them, so they have to always be in control. When they’re confronted with their weakness, they deflect the criticism and project it onto others. I’ve had this happen too. Narcissists have accused me of their faults. I’ve questioned my moral integrity and my perceptions of my own conduct. Now, however, I’ve realized it was nothing but gaslighting.

I’ve learned that the only way to deal with narcissists is, if at all possible, to cut them out of your life. Leave them to their own devices. Eventually, their lives will keep shrinking until they suffocate in the entropy. Only then will they be capable of remorse.

Maybe.

Have you dealt with narcissists? How did you handle them? What did you have to do to keep them from gaslighting you or controlling you? Do you have any sympathy toward them?

Blog

Burning Your Bridges

It’s been a crazy month for me, so since I’ve been negligent on blogs, you get two of them this week!

Image courtesy of www.androxa.wordpress.com.

When I was in college, my writing professor once told my class not to “burn your bridges” in the publishing world. The reason was simple: it was a small industry, so it would be easy for word to get around. If you had a falling out with an editor or fellow writer, even if you were in the right, it could create a bad reputation. This in turn could damage your chances of getting work. No one will want to publish someone if they’re difficult to work with (unless you’re the late great Harlan Ellison, who got by on sheer talent).

In the internet age, I think this advice has become universal. At my new day job, for instance, a disgruntled customer threatened to “go on social media” and trash the business. I guess that’s how you threaten someone in 2018: internet rumors. It used to be that one only had to worry about whether to put former bosses as references on job applications. If you knew a particular one wouldn’t speak favorably of you, you either left it off or said not to contact them. But as my professor pointed out, in a small industry where everyone knows everyone, it can be a problem. Reputation carries a lot of weight. People may not take to the time to see if what they hear is true or not.

I’ve been thinking about this lately because of a recent falling out I had with a colleague. It made me think back on times when I’ve either burned my bridges or chosen not to. When I lost my first post-college writing job, I vacillated between blaming myself and blaming my bosses. They were kind enough to say I could use them as references, and a few years later at an author fair, I met one of them and said there were no hard feelings from me. On the other hand, an online Christian ministry I volunteered for faithfully for five years more or less “fired” me for nebulous reasons. Since then I’ve completely disassociated myself from them. I don’t talk to anyone who works there nor do I put anyone from there down as a reference.

It gets harder when you realize you’re working with a toxic person, though. When you know they’re abusing and using you. On one hand, you have to draw boundary lines. On the other, you feel the need to warn others about this person. But is this desire motivated by altruism or revenge? Aye, there’s the rub. It’s easy to disguise the latter with the former, especially when you know you could do some serious damage to the abuser.

Because of all this, I started listening to the appropriately titled album “Songs to Burn Your Bridges by” by the hardcore rock band Project 86. Their song “Oblivion” has been resonating with me more than ever. The second verse in particular has become something of a mantra for me:

From somewhere far, far away…
(It’s mine to avenge, I will repay)
A distant voice from some familiar place
(Drive it home in me, pull it out from me)
“Let go the anchor
Let got the deadweight.
(I will repay, I will avenge),
And I’ll change what’s in remiss”

These lines were inspired by a phrase found twice in the Bible. Specifically, in Deuteronomy 32:35 and Romans 12:19. I will confess for someone with as strong a sense of justice as I’m blessed/cursed with, keeping to this tenant of my faith is…difficult. I want to be God’s hammer—His Mjolnir, you could say. But rarely does God allow such things. So, I must patiently wait for Him to vindicate me and set things right. He is, contrary to popular belief, a God of both love and justice. That’s why I have to remove those people from my life: it separates me from the situation and leaves room for God to work.

I hope, True Believers, you can do the same things. Don’t be afraid to get yourself out a bad relationship and/or situation. And when you do, let God bring about His superior justice.

What about you? Have you had to “burn bridges”? What did you do? Did things work out? If so, how?

News, Announcements, Blog

Blog Day has Moved!

Image courtesy of ThemeFuse.

You may have noticed I didn’t have a blog last week. That’s because I just started grad school, a new university job, and I’m about to move into a new apartment. In light of this, I’m moving my weekly “blog day” from Thursday (or Friday, if I’m late) to Saturday. 

So don’t fret, True Believers! I have a new blog in store for you this weekend!

Blog

My Life: The Reboot

My life is not unlike this film right now.

It’s been a crazy few weeks. I’ve had two book signings. My website was shut down to transfer it to a new host (thanks, Nick! [My apologies if his site is still being transferred]). Sadly, I did lose the short blog I wrote at Gen-Con, but all it said was that I was at the convention, wouldn’t be writing a blog, and that you all should come see me at my table.

As for other changes, I gave one day job a letter of resignation. I start grad school at a local university next week, as well as working as a graduate teaching assistant and writing center consultant for said university. I’m moving to be closer to the school. And these are just the changes I can talk about right now.

It’s…overwhelming at times.

My pastor told me Sunday that this isn’t so much starting a new chapter as it is opening a new volume. I said it might be more apt to call it a “reboot.” And why not? Reboots are all the rage in Hollywood right now. Most of them suck (I’m looking at you, Ghostbusters 2016), but then you have that handful that are amazing (like Batman Begins). Perhaps it’s more of a “soft reboot” like the 2009 Star Trek: it’s starting fresh, but it wouldn’t have happened if not for the events of the previous movies/series. I’m embarking on a new adventure where most everything is different, but there were many things in my life that led to this point.

But with change comes grief.

A coworker (at a business named Reboot, ironically), who also works as a pro-bono pastor, told me that grief is more about change than it is loss. Even positive change requires losing something, whether that be singleness for marriage or freedom for parenthood, among other things. I’m going to miss where I was because it was comfortable and predictable. I was used to it. It was safe. But where’s the adventure in safety?

A lot of things, both good and bad, related to my past have fallen away. I had to get a new car six months ago after an accident. My writing mentor retired in disgrace. That’s a few I can name. I still have plenty of constants (my friends, my family), but everything is changing.

Perhaps it’s appropriate then that Eric Anderson and I are working on a sequel to 42: Discovering Faith Through Fandom, and its central theme is how God changes things. I’ll be writing from experience.

What are some big changes you’ve navigated? How did you go about it? What did you have to “grieve” in the process?