All posts by Nathan Marchand

No Superman because YouTube is stupid

no-superman

I was going to post a new episode of my vlog, “But I Digress…,” which is a review of the new Superman film, Man of Steel, but YouTube won’t let me. Or rather, it makes my video bug out and gets muted at the same place every time I uploaded it. I don’t know if it’s because the video’s encoding is corrupted (it plays fine on my laptop) or if YouTube is being a jerk because I used two pieces of Superman music. Those are the only explanations I can think of. If it’s the latter, what’s the problem? I’m using them to promote the new film and do some comedy! Last I heard, that was allowed in copyright law.

Regardless, this isn’t the first time I’ve had issues posting videos on YouTube. I did e-mail their customer support, but I have no idea if that will help.

I’m to the point where I think I may start posting videos elsewhere, even if it means I won’t get as much exposure. Perhaps I’ll find a video plug-in for WordPress. I also hear good things about Vimeo. Or YouTube will fix things. Who knows what where my future videos will find their home?

If I did “move ” I wouldn’t abandon my YouTube channel. I’d use it for previews of my videos, or perhaps for personal videos. Only time will tell.

Until then, please be patient as I figure out how and where to get my new vlog posted.

How I Met Silver Sable

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a week, but I’ve been kinda busy. If you’re friends with me on Facebook, though, you already know about this.

After six weeks of searching, I’ve finally bought a new car.

True Believers, meet Silver Sable!

DSCN5416

Yes, I bought another Ford Escort ZX2. However, this one is pretty much my last car, only better. It’s the 2002 model with a sunroof, six-CD changer, and lots of after-market accessories. Since my last Escort was named after a lesser-known Marvel Comic superheroine (Elektra), I decided this one should be, too. Here’s a picture of my car’s namesake:

SilverSable442

It’s an ironic story how I found her. First, I have to say my primary tool for finding a car was www.Craigslist.org. While it usually yielded the most prospects out of other websites, it also had the most scams. Finding a car on Craigslist in like online dating: you fall in love with what you see in the photo, but the real thing may not be as pretty. I looked at and test drove many cars in my price range. My top three traits were reliability, durability, and good gas mileage. So, I spent most of my time looking at Toyotas, Hondas, Nissans (sometimes), and Escorts. I went to dealerships and private sellers. I even traveled two hours to Hobart, Indiana, (which is perilously close to scary Gary) to look at a car.

My favorite “lemon” was this 1995 Honda Accord with 94,000 miles being sold in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I arrived at a small apartment. While I was looking at the car (which was definitely rough around the edges), a young woman wearing Arabic garb peeked out the door of the complex and then slipped back in. A young guy came out. I guess she was his girlfriend? Anyway, he spent the better part of ten minutes talking to me like a used car salesman. He claimed a Mexican friend of his could mix all the cosmetic problems for $800. I thought, Nice try, kid. I did test drive the car. It handled well and was quite fun to drive. But I discovered the deal breaker–the odometer didn’t work. As far as I knew, it had 194,000 miles on it. I told him this, and he claimed it went out on the previous owner, who then guessed how many miles to put on the title. I shook his hand, thanked him, and left.

Anyway, back to how I found Sable…

When I searched Craigslist, I only searched for ads with photos. My Dad, however, searched for everything. The original ad with Sable had no pictures or a phone number; only an e-mail address. But the price and miles (94,000) were right. Dad e-mailed him, giving the seller my number. He called me a few days later, saying his name was Brandon. He told me about the car and informed me that he’d added pictures to the ad. I looked at it and fell in love with the car. It was gorgeous. I told him Dad and I would come look at it the next day after church. It was a short trip to Elkhart.

We arrived and test drove the car with Brandon with us, who kept bragging about how good the car was. He was only the second owner. He’d driven it for 25,000 miles. The car, so far as he knew, came from Chicago. When he owned it, he did all the routine maintenance early and only he and his father–a Ford certified mechanic–worked on it. He offered to have his father replace the timing belt or fix the paint scuffs at no extra cost. We talked him down a little in price. Then he gave me a cell phone car charger and cassette adaptor for no extra cost and gave me $40 to fill my tank.

Best car buying experience I’ve ever had.

An Open Letter to My Future Wife

Dear Beloved,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? My apologies. I’ve had a tumultuous time wrestling with doubts about whether or not I’ll ever find you. Or rather, if God will ever lead us to each other. You know I go through times like that. Some are short, some not-so-short. But when I throw off the dead weight, I realize longing for you is part of how God wired me. To bury that would be to deny part of who I am. I must believe I’m not meant to be alone.

This letter is different. It is being shared on the Internet for friends and family to read. However, it will be the first and only time I do such a thing. Lovers are entitled to their secrets. Some people may read this and call me desperate, naïve, unmanly, or something worse. They may lecture me on “trusting God for a spouse” or “not looking” or a myriad of other things (I’ve heard them all). Let them. They can judge me, label me, and/or condemn me. I know where I stand with you, and I know where I stand with God. Their opinions can’t and won’t change that.

The mystery of who you may be both excites and pains me. Maybe I’ve not met you yet. Maybe you’re reading this letter right now on one of the sites I’ve posted it. Maybe we’re friends right now but love has yet to blossom. In which case, how did we meet? How will that love form? I hope and pray it’s a great story. While I still mock bad (or sappy) romance stories in fiction, I love it when they’re done well. I’m not foolish enough to think our story will be a romantic comedy or a fairy tale (though if it even remotely resembles “The Princess Bride”, I’ll be happy), I still want a love story that we’ll enjoy recounting to our kids and grandkids until we’re old and gray. A story that will amuse and encourage everyone who hears it. In other words, a story crafted by the Author of romance Himself. I hope that is your prayer, too.

Life should be an adventure. I’m working hard to add more adventure to my own. Not just a fun adventure, but an adventure with danger and high stakes; where I’m doing great things for God’s glory. That’s the sort of life I want to invite to join me on. When God said man shouldn’t be alone and made a “help-mate” (or in Hebrew, “ezer kenegdo,” which means “lifesaver”) for him, it was to join the man on the great work He had commissioned him to do. So, I hope you’re adventurous. Like Indiana Jones, I tend to get in over my head sometimes. I’ll need a partner who can help me get through it. I promise it’ll be exciting.

While I can promise an exciting marriage, but I can’t promise a wealthy one. We live in uncertain financial times and I studied to work in a field that doesn’t guarantee oodles of money. I’ve been hurt by a woman who found more security in a man’s money than in his love. It’s often left me wondering if I was too poor to marry. But I know God values wisdom above wealth, so I trust you do, too. A man who is rich but unwise is a terrible husband. “Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil” (Prov. 15:16). No matter what financial difficulties assail us, I know we’ll get through them together.

Though you may not know it, I’ve failed you. I’ve failed you in word, deed, and thought. And I know I’ll do the same when we’re together, though I won’t want to. This agonizes me. You deserve nothing less than a man who’s perfect. Then I tell myself, “No. She deserves a man who’s perfect for her.” I want to be this man for you. But when I am less than perfect, I pray you will forgive me. Loving you as Christ loves the church is a high ideal that I will spend the rest of my life trying to attain, and I will misstep along the way. May you love me regardless of my mistakes.

So, Beloved, whether we’ve met yet or not, pray for me as I pray for you. Don’t be afraid to voice your loneliness or your longing for me. Let the haters hate. Find friends and family who will encourage you to be even more of the woman of God I know you are as you wait. May God grant you patience now (you’ll need it to handle me). 😉

May we soon come together to serve God more than we ever could have apart.

Your (Future) Husband,
Nate

Memorial Day Tribute

I come from a military family. I wanted to write something today in tribute not only to my own family members who have served in the armed forces, but to all the men and women who put on a uniform everyday to defend their nation. With all the busyness that has been accosting me, I barely had time to write this. I wanted to include photos. Even if I did, it still wouldn’t seem like enough. So, I will do the best I can with the time I have.

My grandfathers both fought in WWII. Don Marchand was a motorcycle messenger for the Army in the European theatre. He ran over a landmine and survived. While he wasn’t physically disabled, per se, he lived with that injury for the rest of his life. Max Sitton served in the Navy and later the Air Force. He was a practical joker and loved pranking his comrades. It was him who inspired my mother, Tina (Sitton) Marchand, to enlist in the Air National Guard. It was there she met my father, Joseph Marchand, who was an MP (military police). Mom retired from the Air Guard shortly after my first brother, Josiah, was born, but Dad stayed in for ten more years. He made several tours overseas in Europe, and his unit was nearly activated to serve in the first Gulf War. He retired in the mid-’90s after achieving the rank of senior master sergeant.

In all honesty, I’ve considered enlisting several times over the years because of the stories I’ve heard from my parents. Despite that, I’ve always had an interest in the military. That’s probably why my first novel, Pandora’s Box, is military science fiction. (Hey, I had to sneak a little shameless self-promotion in here, hehe).

These are just a few stories. I had other relatives who served in WWII. They all deserve a tribute. So do all the soldiers who’ve served out great nation. You’ve heard all the clichés (“Freedom isn’t free,” etc.), but they still express a good sentiment. Like all holidays, they are reminders of what she should do all year long. Whenever you see a soldier, tell him, “Thank you.” Even if you disagree with the wars we’re involved in, these men and women fought, bled, and even died so you could have the freedom to disagree. You still owe them for gratitude.

I find myself wanting to express that gratitude even more. I hope I–and all of us–remember to do that everyday.

So today when you’re enjoying barbecues and a day off work, remember the soldiers who didn’t get a day off to spend with their families so you could be free.

Happy Memorial Day.

But I Digress…, Episode 12: A Review of ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’

“But I Digress…”
Hosted by Nathan Marchand

I’ve been very busy with several writing and personal projects, so I wasn’t able to film a review for “Star Trek Into Darkness.” However, I managed to get an old friend to do the review for me–none other than Capt. James T. Kirk himself! (Did I mention I’m a HUGE Trekker?)

However, I did see the movie (at midnight) and wrote a review for it on my column for Examiner. You can read it here.

Please comment, subscribe, and share!

NaPoWriMo, Days 29 & 30: ‘Sub vs. Dub’ and ‘The Fight’

My month-long poetry-writing marathon comes to an end. I gotta say, I did better this year than last year. For one thing, I never fell more than one day behind and I finished on time. I did use the last two prompts, but in my opinion, my last two poems aren’t the strongest ones from this year’s NaPoWriMo. Feel free to disagree with me.

Yesterday’s prompt was to write a poem with five words from a foreign language. I chose Japanese. While it should be obvious, I put the Japanese words in bold. It’s based on a less-than-serious debate among anime fans, but it was fun to write.

Today’s prompt was to take a short poem I like and rewrite it by replacing words and phrases with their opposite. For example, Shakespeare’s sonnet, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” could be changed to “I won’t contrast you with a winter’s night.” I selected “The Fray,” a poem used in the 2011 film, The Grey, which was written by it’s screenwriter/director, Joe Carnahan. I don’t think it turned out too well. I chose it because it was only four lines, which I thought would make it simple. Perhaps I’ll rework it later (as I’ll probably do with all these poems).

Day 29:
Sub vs. Dub
By Nathan Marchand

Do you prefer “Konichiwa” or “Hello”?
The original language or English?
Otakus decry their own tongue
Being put in the mouth of Naruto.
Nai! Too must lost in translation!”
They’re annoyed by people who,
When they hear “Ohayō,” think of a state.
They’d rather read than listen,
Perhaps even missing the action.

But must a character say “watashi wa
Instead of simply saying, “I”?
The eyes should be free to admire
The beauty of the art, the animation,
The hand-drawn work of masters,
And not be distracted by scrolling text.
Watch it as it was intended:
With voices bringing life to drawings,
And bid the elitist otakus, “Sayōnara!”

Day 30:
The Fight
By Nathan Marchand

Once more out of the fight.
Out of the first bad brawl I’ll ever forget.
Live or die on this night.
Live or die on this night.

NaPoWriMo, Days 27 & 28: ‘Pride Goes Before a Fall’ and ‘Red Passion’

 

Yesterday’s prompt was to take a commonly known proverb or saying, plug it into an internet search engine, and then select words or phrases in the first few pages of the search for a poem. I chose, “Pride goes before a fall” (based on Proverbs 16:18). The words in bold were the excerpts from the search.

Today’s prompt was deceptive in its simplicity. I was to choose a color and write a poem inspired by it. I chose red.

Enjoy!

Day 27:
Pride Goes Before a Fall
By Nathan Marchand

In this maniac world,
People worship themselves.
What does it mean?
You’ve become your own idol.
Might as well admit it—
You don’t love me.
How could I compete?
How could I compare?
Composing the most beautiful
Song lyrics could do you no justice.
No modest alterations could
Make me worthy of you.

But as history illustrates,
Hubris is always fatal.
The arrogant are likely to fail
Despite their haughty spirit.
God opposes the proud
You may exalt yourself,
But God will humble you.
Who will follow you
When the truth is revealed?
You will watch in despair
As the humble are exalted
And the meek inherit the Earth.

Day 28:
Red Passion
By Nathan Marchand

A man was drenched in red
As passion bled from his wounds.
A self-sacrificial suffering
At the hands of those red with rage,
Driving nails through
Flesh and bone,
Soul and spirit,
With unquenchable bloodlust.
From him, a crimson flow, washing
Hearts stained scarlet
And leaving them white.
The bread of life
Dipped in burgundy wine,
Poured out as an offering.
Eat his flesh and drink his blood,
And you will have eternal life.