Iāve made it no secret no secret that Iām a shameless self-promoter. In fact, it could be argued that I sometimes flaunt it. However, this week I had two interesting thoughts related to that this week. Well, more like one thought and one realization.
First, my self-promotion got me in a bit of trouble. I shared my latest blog in a Facebook group Iām in, and not one but two admins messaged me after deleting my post telling me not to do that since the group had a rule against self-promotion posts (because otherwise the members would be bombarding the group with them). It wasnāt the first time this had happened. Admittedly, it was kinda my fault since Iād forgotten about that rule.
One admin asked me why I promoted myself. āIām a writer,ā I replied. āItās what I do.ā She said she wrote haikus but didnāt go around saying, āLook at me! Look at me!ā I had to fight the urge to start an argument.
āWhy?ā you ask. Because the difference between me and this admin isāat the risk of sounding rudeāIām a professional and sheās a hobbyist (as far as I know). I donāt know if she has a blog where she posts her haikus, but if sheās okay with only a few people reading her stuff, thatās fine. I, on the other hand, want to grow an audience because writing is my trade and vocation. If I am to be (more) successful, I must get people to read my stuff. I figured that since Iād built a community in this Facebook group, thatād be a great place to generate interest. Apparently not. I understand why they have the rule, but I didnāt like the attitude I was getting from the admin. However, I can forgive it because she may not understand where Iām coming from. I know promotion can come across as arrogantājust look at Donald Trump (yes, I went there)ābut itās necessary in my line of work. If you have the right attitude, though, it can work. It may seem paradoxical that self-promotion and humility can go together, but I do believe itās possible.
Ironically, I learned that even I have limits on my self-promotion, which brings me to my second thought. I realized that when Iām trying to get people interested in books (or anything I make/do), Iām filled with passionate adamancy. Iām a one-man hype machine. But when people come back to me and say they loved my stuff, I almost want to refuse their praise. Butā¦I have friends who are more talented and/or successful than me! I think.
Yeah, Iām weird.
Iām not 100-percent sure why I think like this. It might be because I feel like Iām the lesser of my peers. Iām in awe of their talent and think theyāre more deserving of peopleās attention and adoration. Or I think that if I was as talented and/or savvy as my more successful peers, then Iād deserve the praise. In other words, I see a disconnection. Does that make sense?
What do you think, True Believers? Do you have similar struggles? How do you deal with these thoughts?