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True Romance: ‘The Lake House’

'The Lake House' poster

(Continued from yesterday’s post).

Mark it on your calendars, True Believers, because I’m about to admit publicly that I like a chick flick.

(gasp!)

I originally thought about using The Princess Bride (one of my favorite films) as an example of a “chick flick” I like, but then I realized it was equal parts “chick flick” and “guy movie.” So, I would classify it a romantic fantasy/adventure/comedy. (The movie defies classification, but I digress).

With that said, I opted for The Lake House, a 2006 romance film starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. The movie was disliked by critics, and unfairly so. They criticized some internal inconsistencies with its plot, but let’s be honest: it’s hard to write a time-travel story that is completely airtight.

Yes, it involves time-travel. The fantastical element is one of the things that intrigued me about it. It tells the story of an architect and a doctor who live in the same house but two years apart, and how they fall in love by writing letters to each other through a time-warping mailbox.

(WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!)

The first thing that strikes me about this story is how the couple never meets until late in the movie. Until then, their only interaction is through correspondence (lending credence to long-distance relationships). So, their relationship is at first free of physical lust (which is often confused for love in many “romantic” stories). They connect on a deep, personal level through their letters. They even find clever ways to interact, such as Alex (the architect) taking Kate (the doctor) on a time-delayed tour of Chicago with one of his letters (he even spray-paints an endearing message on a wall for her). They finally meet when Alex goes to a party Kate attended two years before—when she was with another man. He meets her, deeply in love with her, but she has no idea who he is, and he can’t tell her who he is.

They continue to write each other and decide to meet at restaurant on Valentine’s Day. Kate will only have to wait one day, but Alex will have to wait two years. Kate arrives, but Alex never shows. Heartbroken, she writes a letter to Alex saying not to write her anymore and recounts the story of how, one year prior, she witnessed a car accident and the driver, a young man, died in her arms. The two leave the lake house and go their separate ways.

One year later (2006 for Alex and 2008 for Kate), Alex returns to the house because something triggers his memory. Kate, meanwhile, is talking with another architect and learns that Alex had died two years earlier—that he was the man whose death she witnessed! That’s why he didn’t show up at the restaurant. She rushes back to the lake house and frantically writes him a letter saying she loves him and tells him to wait two years and meet her at the lake house instead. She stuffs it in the mailbox. Did he get it? The flag drops—he’d received it.

A vehicle pulls up. A man walks toward her. Alex! “You waited,” Kate says. Then, after four years, they finally kiss.

Despite what the critics say, this is a magnificent love story. The love is deep. How many people have the patience and commitment to wait four years to meet their true love after they “found” them? Four years! Think about that: they were so dedicated to each other, so patient, that they endured the pain of waiting to see each other for four full years! (Although, while noble, it pales by comparison to another couple I’ll be writing about later this week). Alex had to suffer seeing the woman he loved but she didn’t love him, at least not yet. He could’ve been selfish and tried to take her then, but it would’ve ruined everything. Kate had to watch Alex die and later be “stood up,” only to learn later what happened. These two wouldn’t let their circumstances keep them apart. As strange as everything was, they overcame every obstacle thrown at them. It wasn’t easy. True love never is. It must be tested. That’s how its authenticity can be proven.

So, there you have it: my favorite “chick flick.” It’d make a great date movie this Valentine’s Day. Go rent it now! Ah, heck, buy it!

NEXT TIME ON “TRUE ROMANCE”:  A manga romance! (A “mangamance”?)

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True Romance: An Introduction

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Broken_heart_by_KaattieMaattieThe dreaded day approaches.

Yes, I’m speaking of Valentine’s Day. I’ve never liked this holiday, and for the obvious reason: I’ve never had a girlfriend during it (although, I’ve had several of them).

I could go into a long treatise about what the holiday really means, but that isn’t my purpose today. I’ve decided to use this coming week to talk about what I think makes up true romance, both in stories and in real life.. It’s not that I hate them (I’ve often been described as a “romantic”), I just can’t stand how poorly done many of them are. I won’t necessarily be writing about how to write these stories since, oddly enough, most of those techniques are present in good and bad romances (and I might possibly save it for an episode of my vlog).

My biggest gripe with romantic stories, especially modern ones, is they’re shallow or fake. Look at a typical romantic comedy movie. Two young, attractive people meet, think each other is hot, and then haphazardly try to get together, sleeping with each a few times along the way. The audience assumes these characters will live happily ever after.

It’s a lie. Or rather, a fantasy.

This rarely, if ever, works out in real life. Why? Because the love is only skin deep. The couples in these stories are riding on the emotional high of their “chemistry,” the gooey feelings they have for each other. Studies have shown these don’t last long. I guarantee you that even Rose and Jack from Titanic (the most overrated film of all time), had they both survived the sinking ship, probably wouldn’t have stayed together because they were running on temporary romantic feelings.

A related gripe I have is how unrealistically fast these relationships happen. Admittedly, this is a lesser problem, because it does happen quickly for some people in real life, and stories (especially movies) often necessitate the romances start quickly, so it’s easy to forgive. More often than not, though, it takes time to cultivate love. Then the love must stand the test of time. As I said, romantic feelings don’t last. The love must have deeper roots.

As a Christian, I’m familiar with koine Greek, one of the original languages the Bible was written in. This ancient language had at least three words for “love”: eros (sexual/physical love; from which we get the word “erotic”), phileo (friendship; the source of the name Philadelphia, which means “city of brotherly love”), and agape (unconditional love). All of these loves are legitimate and are necessary to make a lasting romance, but agape is what binds them together. This is a love not based on feelings. It is an act of the will. It is commitment. It requires a person to put the needs of whoever he loves above his own, even if he gets nothing out of it. It says, “No matter what happens, no matter what you do, even if you don’t deserve it, I will love you.”

This is the sort of love that requires suffering. That’s why many people give up on it: they don’t like to suffer. But if you love someone, you will stick by them through thick and thin. You’ll do whatever you have to for them. That’s why fairy tales resound with us. Men want to be the knight who slays the dragon and women want to be the maiden he rescues. Even The Princess Bride, as “cheesy” as it is, understands this! (And this is one reason why I think the romances I write tend to be born out of suffering).

People may say that sounds romantic, but I wonder if they would say that if they had to practice it. Many don’t. That’s why there’s a 50% divorce rate.

(I’ll stop talking like Dr. Phil now).

My point is this: romances should have more substance. They should be founded in something far deeper and much stronger and feelings. When I read or watch a romance, I want that couple to stay together forever. I want that fairy tale ending. I have to believe love can last forever. That’s why it grinds me to see such shallow romances passed off as the real thing. Maybe I’m jaded. Or maybe I understand this better than most.

Regardless, I promise you that if you ever hear me say I like a romantic story, you can bet its good.

I’ll be sharing a few of those stories the next few days. Starting with…a chick flick?!