I’ve made it no secret no secret that I’m a shameless self-promoter. In fact, it could be argued that I sometimes flaunt it. However, this week I had two interesting thoughts related to that this week. Well, more like one thought and one realization.

First, my self-promotion got me in a bit of trouble. I shared my latest blog in a Facebook group I’m in, and not one but two admins messaged me after deleting my post telling me not to do that since the group had a rule against self-promotion posts (because otherwise the members would be bombarding the group with them). It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Admittedly, it was kinda my fault since I’d forgotten about that rule.

One admin asked me why I promoted myself. “I’m a writer,” I replied. “It’s what I do.” She said she wrote haikus but didn’t go around saying, “Look at me! Look at me!” I had to fight the urge to start an argument.

“Why?” you ask. Because the difference between me and this admin is—at the risk of sounding rude—I’m a professional and she’s a hobbyist (as far as I know). I don’t know if she has a blog where she posts her haikus, but if she’s okay with only a few people reading her stuff, that’s fine. I, on the other hand, want to grow an audience because writing is my trade and vocation. If I am to be (more) successful, I must get people to read my stuff. I figured that since I’d built a community in this Facebook group, that’d be a great place to generate interest. Apparently not. I understand why they have the rule, but I didn’t like the attitude I was getting from the admin. However, I can forgive it because she may not understand where I’m coming from. I know promotion can come across as arrogant—just look at Donald Trump (yes, I went there)—but it’s necessary in my line of work. If you have the right attitude, though, it can work. It may seem paradoxical that self-promotion and humility can go together, but I do believe it’s possible.

Ironically, I learned that even I have limits on my self-promotion, which brings me to my second thought. I realized that when I’m trying to get people interested in books (or anything I make/do), I’m filled with passionate adamancy. I’m a one-man hype machine. But when people come back to me and say they loved my stuff, I almost want to refuse their praise. But…I have friends who are more talented and/or successful than me! I think.

Yeah, I’m weird.

I’m not 100-percent sure why I think like this. It might be because I feel like I’m the lesser of my peers. I’m in awe of their talent and think they’re more deserving of people’s attention and adoration. Or I think that if I was as talented and/or savvy as my more successful peers, then I’d deserve the praise. In other words, I see a disconnection. Does that make sense?

What do you think, True Believers? Do you have similar struggles? How do you deal with these thoughts?