Tag Archives: reputation

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The Journal of the Plague Fortnight, Day 1: Reputation, Lockdown, and Excuses to Leave

The foggy scene outside my apartment on day one of the Indiana lockdown. (Photo by Nathan Marchand).

As I mentioned on my social media, with my home state of Indiana in lockdown and my university going to online only classes, I’ve decided to increase my creative output to entertain (and hopefully enlighten) all of you True Believers while in quarantine. We could all use some relief, and this is one way I can help with that.

When I wrote my blog last week, I hesitated to put in my political commentary. I make no secret of my political leanings (I’m a conservative), but I don’t make a habit of broadcasting them to the world because it always invites trouble. That’s the climate we live in now. But I left it in because it was part of my frustration. Predictably, I was accused of being flippant, propagating misinformation, and not taking the situation seriously. I ended up adding a “retraction” of sorts to the blog and posting it as an addendum. This came after I did some more reading and learned a few things I didn’t know before about coronavirus.

The criticism ignited an old fear that has dug deeper roots in recent years: perception is reality when it should be truth. In other words, the actions and decisions of others have more control over my life than I do. I could be objectively qualified for, say, a job, but the employer could still not select me. In the case of my blog, I didn’t mean to spread misinformation or offend anyone. Given that I’m something of a public figure (and the internet is vicious), damage to my reputation could cost me big time. I’ve seen the destruction wrought by gossip. I know firsthand how ungracious people can be. That’s why I went into “damage control mode” to mitigate the problem. I should’ve known everyone, including myself, is on edge with everything happening. It’s only natural to respond defensively. I stay up-to-date with the latest reports on the crisis, but there’s a lot of unknowns out there. Humans fear the unknown more than most things. That’s why coronavirus is terrifying but the flu isn’t.

Sadly, I saw the internet tear someone else apart this week over this. J.D. Lees, the editor of G-Fan magazine and the organizer for G-Fest, sparked the controversy of the week in the kaiju fan community when he posted coronavirus stats on the event’s Twitter page. Yes, it was a bad PR move, but I’ve rarely seen such instant hate in this fandom. People called him a “clown” and a “villain” and said they would cancel their magazine subscriptions and their G-Fest tickets. I know J.D., so I know he meant no harm, which is why I did try to stem the hate. That and my recent experience made me sympathetic to his plight. At least no one bit my head off for it.

So, now almost everywhere I would go is closed. School, the dance studio, bookstores. Heck, even my church had to start livestreaming services. To say I feel isolated would be an understatement. It makes me glad my brother Jarod moved in with me or else I would die of loneliness. I’ve distanced myself from online communities to focus on real-life relationships, and now they’re all I have for the time being.

At least I was able to do some work for InstaCart, and they seem to be staying in operation. At this point, I’ll take any excuse to go outside.

On my first day of quarantine, I drove to BioLife to donate plasma like I normally do. The stuff is desperately needed, and it’s good money. Appropriately, fog as thick as peanut butter blanketed the city at 9AM. It made me think of the people’s blindness and how fog would deter travel. Beyond that, I spent the day raiding my overfilled cupboards, watching UltraSeven with Jarod, doing schoolwork, catching up on my TV viewing, and gaming online with my friend Bill.

One of the goals on my whiteboard is, “Add more adventure to your life.”

That just got more challenging.

What are you doing to pass the time in self-quarantine? Comment below!

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Burning Your Bridges

It’s been a crazy month for me, so since I’ve been negligent on blogs, you get two of them this week!

Image courtesy of www.androxa.wordpress.com.

When I was in college, my writing professor once told my class not to “burn your bridges” in the publishing world. The reason was simple: it was a small industry, so it would be easy for word to get around. If you had a falling out with an editor or fellow writer, even if you were in the right, it could create a bad reputation. This in turn could damage your chances of getting work. No one will want to publish someone if they’re difficult to work with (unless you’re the late great Harlan Ellison, who got by on sheer talent).

In the internet age, I think this advice has become universal. At my new day job, for instance, a disgruntled customer threatened to “go on social media” and trash the business. I guess that’s how you threaten someone in 2018: internet rumors. It used to be that one only had to worry about whether to put former bosses as references on job applications. If you knew a particular one wouldn’t speak favorably of you, you either left it off or said not to contact them. But as my professor pointed out, in a small industry where everyone knows everyone, it can be a problem. Reputation carries a lot of weight. People may not take to the time to see if what they hear is true or not.

I’ve been thinking about this lately because of a recent falling out I had with a colleague. It made me think back on times when I’ve either burned my bridges or chosen not to. When I lost my first post-college writing job, I vacillated between blaming myself and blaming my bosses. They were kind enough to say I could use them as references, and a few years later at an author fair, I met one of them and said there were no hard feelings from me. On the other hand, an online Christian ministry I volunteered for faithfully for five years more or less “fired” me for nebulous reasons. Since then I’ve completely disassociated myself from them. I don’t talk to anyone who works there nor do I put anyone from there down as a reference.

It gets harder when you realize you’re working with a toxic person, though. When you know they’re abusing and using you. On one hand, you have to draw boundary lines. On the other, you feel the need to warn others about this person. But is this desire motivated by altruism or revenge? Aye, there’s the rub. It’s easy to disguise the latter with the former, especially when you know you could do some serious damage to the abuser.

Because of all this, I started listening to the appropriately titled album “Songs to Burn Your Bridges by” by the hardcore rock band Project 86. Their song “Oblivion” has been resonating with me more than ever. The second verse in particular has become something of a mantra for me:

From somewhere far, far away…
(It’s mine to avenge, I will repay)
A distant voice from some familiar place
(Drive it home in me, pull it out from me)
“Let go the anchor
Let got the deadweight.
(I will repay, I will avenge),
And I’ll change what’s in remiss”

These lines were inspired by a phrase found twice in the Bible. Specifically, in Deuteronomy 32:35 and Romans 12:19. I will confess for someone with as strong a sense of justice as I’m blessed/cursed with, keeping to this tenant of my faith is…difficult. I want to be God’s hammer—His Mjolnir, you could say. But rarely does God allow such things. So, I must patiently wait for Him to vindicate me and set things right. He is, contrary to popular belief, a God of both love and justice. That’s why I have to remove those people from my life: it separates me from the situation and leaves room for God to work.

I hope, True Believers, you can do the same things. Don’t be afraid to get yourself out a bad relationship and/or situation. And when you do, let God bring about His superior justice.

What about you? Have you had to “burn bridges”? What did you do? Did things work out? If so, how?