Tag Archives: ninjas and talking trees

Blog

I Can Do Everything! (or, “Man, I Need to Hire a Secretary!”)

Being an indie author sometimes makes me wish I was Shiva. 😛

As I’ve stated before, I’ve been negligent on blogging for the last month. It wasn’t just this blog that suffered, though. Most, if not all, of my other projects were put on hiatus so I could finish editing my two latest books, 42: Discovering Faith Through Fandom and Ninjas and Talking Trees, in time for Gen-Con 2015 next week. But it was only one of the many things I had to do.

One of the perils of being a self-published author (as I think I mentioned in an early episode of “But I Digress…”) is you have to do everything, or at least almost everything, yourself. Your work doesn’t stop with writing the book and making recommended changes. You have to become an entire publishing house. You write, you edit, you hire cover artists (assuming you don’t create the cover yourself), you do layout, you promote the book, etc., etc. Unless you’re an excellent project manager, this can be tiring, especially when you also work a day job and have a social life. In the last month, I’ve found myself thinking many times, I just want to write! I understand now why some authors forego self-publishing, despite its advantages, in favor of traditional publishing: they have much less to worry about. Their attention isn’t nearly as divided, so they can focus more on their craft.

Strange (or selfish) as it may sound, one of the reasons I want to get married is because I’d like to have a wife who could help me with some of this. Yes, I admit it: I’d like her to be my secretary. Here’s the thing: she wouldn’t be my subservient, but my partner. We’d work on things together as equals.

Regardless, I already practice this to some extent. I hired friends/professional editors to look over these books so it wasn’t just me. Fresh eyes can see things I don’t. The artist who created the cover for 42, Ruth Pike, also did the back cover and some promotional materials. My friend Nick Hayden then did the layout. Anthony Gangemi drew the artwork for Ninjas and Talking Trees, which required a bit of faith on my part because it was the most expensive cover I’ve commissioned. I was thinking back on a self-publishing seminar where the instructor insisted authors should invest money in our careers. But I had to add the text and do the layout myself because Nick was unavailable. Then I had to wait for CreateSpace to process everything. (Thankfully, their shipping department is awesome, and my orders arrived four or five days early).

Let this be a warning to you: if you want to be an indie author, expect to put in extra work.

It’s worth it, though. 😉

P.S. Please leave reviews for my books on Amazon and Goodreads!

Books, Blog

Another NEW BOOK: ‘Ninjas and Talking Trees’

I’m on a roll! (That was the correct “roll,” right?)

Actually, I just wanted to get another new book ready for Gen-Con 2015. Plus, this one has been sitting in my computer for a long time and needed to get into print.

So, without further ado, I present Ninjas and Talking Trees, which is book one of The (Mis)Adventures of George Francis.

Cover art by Anthony Gangemi.
Cover art by Anthony Gangemi.

George Francis is a normal accountant in Fort Wayne, Indiana, who has it all: a disciplined routine, a great job, and a hot girlfriend named Destiny. Well, there are his uber-nerd college buddies, but they’re mostly harmless…until they met his Destiny. She dumps George immediately. They invite a heartbroken George to join them at a renaissance faire to make it up to him. But after entering a port-a-potty to soothe his aching stomach, George is transported to the world of Loconia and chased by ninjas.

Soon George meets Sensei, a Talking Tree who was once a samurai. He insists George is the “Hero of Legend,” and it’s his new destiny to liberate Loconia from the eccentric tyrant Marcus the Morally-Dubious in order to return home. George must survive Sensei’s grueling training (which includes dueling a samurai banzai tree) and then rescue Princess Pansy/Roze, who’s been cursed with a split personality—one good, one evil—that switches whenever someone snaps his fingers. To complicate matters, the good one is in love with George and the evil one plans to marry Marcus.

But George isn’t alone. He recruits Loconia’s bravest and finest to battle Marcus’ Legions of Terror: an unknowingly hapless pretty boy; an inarticulate Barbarian carrying a well-spoken ax; and a redneck wizard whose spells work better when he’s drunk.

Oh snap!

Will George’s sanity survive? Will he become the Hero of Legend? Will you stop reading this back cover and open the book to find out? (Just don’t skip to the end, you cheater!)

This book has an origin that’s just as humorous. During my last semester at Taylor University Fort Wayne, I took a class on C.S. Lewis and George McDonald that was taught by Dr. Pam Jordan-Long. One of the books we read was Phantastes by McDonald. A classmate told me before class that he thought it was a bit slow in middle and joked that it would’ve been better if ninjas were in it. But he didn’t stop there—he said that in class, too! Since Phantastes featured talking trees, we concluded as a class that all good stories must include ninjas and talking trees. It quickly became a prominent inside joke in the class for the rest of the semester. Even the normally serious Dr. Jordan-Long enjoyed it so much she put it on the final exam.

I decided then that since I couldn’t find any stories that featured both, I would write one myself. Since I’d just written Pandora’s Box, I decided I would do something completely different to avoid being pigeonholed as a writer, so I decided to write a fantasy/comedy. As the years went on, I collected many ideas for the book. Too many, in fact, for one book, which is why I’ve decided to make I a series. Essentially, it’s become a repository for my eccentric, absurdist sense of humor. You’ll see shades of Monty Python, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and The Princess Bride, among other things, in it.

There’s more I could say about the book, but I’ll save that for another blog. This one’s long enough as it is.

Get your paperback copy of Ninjas and Talking Trees today on Amazon for $14.99! (EBook coming soon!)

Vlog

But I Digress…, Epsiode 6: My Upcoming Projects for 2013

“But I Digress…”
Hosted by Nathan Marchand

I was a little late posting this, but it was Christmastime, so I was a little busier than usual. Regardless, in this video I talk about my four biggest writing projects for 2013, including a sequel to my first novel and a fantasy/comedy novel I’ve sent to a publisher. I also make a BIG announcement about an equally big ongoing project that will be starting soon. CHECK IT OUT!

A belated Merry Christmas and a Happy Year!

Please comment, subscribe, and share!

www.NathanJSMarchand.com

News, Announcements, Books

‘Ninjas and Talking Trees’ submitted to Hades Publications

Long time, no update. My apologies, readers.

I have great news. As of last night, I completed the second draft of my fantasy/comedy novel, Ninjas and Talking Trees, and submitted it to Hades Publications, who published my first novel, Pandora’s Box, under their Absolute XPress imprint in 2010. Now I must wait and see if they are interested in publishing it.

This book tells the tale of a young accountant who is transported to an eccentric fantasy world ruled by an equally eccentric tyrant. In order to get home, he must learn “the Ways of Hero-dom” and overthrow the villain. While it isn’t a parody, per se, it does poke fun at some fantasy story stereotypes (and a few from anime/manga), and  it uses many of the genre’s archetypes for comedic effect.

You can read more about the humorous history of the story here. I also have a short story entitled “Bow to Your Sensei” that I wrote as a warm-up to the book several years ago for a blog contest. It’s posted here.

Stay tuned for more updates!