Tag Archives: ninjas

Books, Blog

Another NEW BOOK: ‘Ninjas and Talking Trees’

I’m on a roll! (That was the correct “roll,” right?)

Actually, I just wanted to get another new book ready for Gen-Con 2015. Plus, this one has been sitting in my computer for a long time and needed to get into print.

So, without further ado, I present Ninjas and Talking Trees, which is book one of The (Mis)Adventures of George Francis.

Cover art by Anthony Gangemi.
Cover art by Anthony Gangemi.

George Francis is a normal accountant in Fort Wayne, Indiana, who has it all: a disciplined routine, a great job, and a hot girlfriend named Destiny. Well, there are his uber-nerd college buddies, but they’re mostly harmless…until they met his Destiny. She dumps George immediately. They invite a heartbroken George to join them at a renaissance faire to make it up to him. But after entering a port-a-potty to soothe his aching stomach, George is transported to the world of Loconia and chased by ninjas.

Soon George meets Sensei, a Talking Tree who was once a samurai. He insists George is the “Hero of Legend,” and it’s his new destiny to liberate Loconia from the eccentric tyrant Marcus the Morally-Dubious in order to return home. George must survive Sensei’s grueling training (which includes dueling a samurai banzai tree) and then rescue Princess Pansy/Roze, who’s been cursed with a split personality—one good, one evil—that switches whenever someone snaps his fingers. To complicate matters, the good one is in love with George and the evil one plans to marry Marcus.

But George isn’t alone. He recruits Loconia’s bravest and finest to battle Marcus’ Legions of Terror: an unknowingly hapless pretty boy; an inarticulate Barbarian carrying a well-spoken ax; and a redneck wizard whose spells work better when he’s drunk.

Oh snap!

Will George’s sanity survive? Will he become the Hero of Legend? Will you stop reading this back cover and open the book to find out? (Just don’t skip to the end, you cheater!)

This book has an origin that’s just as humorous. During my last semester at Taylor University Fort Wayne, I took a class on C.S. Lewis and George McDonald that was taught by Dr. Pam Jordan-Long. One of the books we read was Phantastes by McDonald. A classmate told me before class that he thought it was a bit slow in middle and joked that it would’ve been better if ninjas were in it. But he didn’t stop there—he said that in class, too! Since Phantastes featured talking trees, we concluded as a class that all good stories must include ninjas and talking trees. It quickly became a prominent inside joke in the class for the rest of the semester. Even the normally serious Dr. Jordan-Long enjoyed it so much she put it on the final exam.

I decided then that since I couldn’t find any stories that featured both, I would write one myself. Since I’d just written Pandora’s Box, I decided I would do something completely different to avoid being pigeonholed as a writer, so I decided to write a fantasy/comedy. As the years went on, I collected many ideas for the book. Too many, in fact, for one book, which is why I’ve decided to make I a series. Essentially, it’s become a repository for my eccentric, absurdist sense of humor. You’ll see shades of Monty Python, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and The Princess Bride, among other things, in it.

There’s more I could say about the book, but I’ll save that for another blog. This one’s long enough as it is.

Get your paperback copy of Ninjas and Talking Trees today on Amazon for $14.99! (EBook coming soon!)

News, Announcements

New short story, and a BIG announcement

After a very long absence, “I’m back in the saddle again,” as Aerosmith is famous for singing. I’ve posted a short and very silly short story for you to read, entitled “Bow to Your Sensei.” This piece has a bit of a storied history (no pun intended).

The initial idea came to me my senior year at Taylor University Fort Wayne when I took a literature class on C.S. Lewis and George McDonald. One of the books we read was Phantastes by McDonald, a fantasy that featured talking trees in several scenes. Ben Armstrong, one of my classmates told me before class that he thought the middle sections of the books were slow, and he jokingly said they would’ve been more exciting if ninjas were in it (because, as we all know, ninjas always make things more exciting). I don’t know why, but he also brought this up in class. In less than a week, it became our class’ running joke that all good stories require two things: ninjas and talking trees. Our professor, Dr. Pam Jordan-Long, even put it on the final exam!

Since then, I have been telling her I would one day write a story that had ninjas and talking trees because I had yet to find one that did.

This short story came about when a blogger on Xanga held an impromptu writing contest for her readers, telling them to write a story using as many of the sayings on the “Minis” as possible. So, I threw this story together at the last minute and submitted it. I didn’t win, but it was fun to write. That is, however, why the piece is pretty random.

(BIG OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT COMING…)

Regardless, it has served as the inspiration for the novel I am currently writing: Ninjas and Talking Trees. It is a fantasy/comedy about a young accountant who is transported to an eccentric fantasy world ruled by an equally eccentric tyrant. In order to get home, he must learn “the Ways of Hero-dom” and overthrow the villain. While it isn’t a parody, per se, it does poke fun at some fantasy story stereotypes (and a few from anime/manga), and  it uses many of the genre’s archetypes for comedic effect.

I’ve been working on it much longer than I should have, but I hope to have a rough draft finished inside a month. Feel free to harp on me about it.

Until then, please enjoy “Bow to Your Sensei.” I promise the new book won’t be quite as random (but still just as silly).