Tag Archives: nathan marchand

NaPoWriMo, Days 20 and 21: ‘Braggart’ and ‘Rejected Fortune Cookie Messages’

 

I had to make up for another lost day today. Sorry!

Yesterday’s prompt was to write a poem using at least five words from a list given participants. I used more than five. The words I was supposed to use are in bold.

Today’s prompt was to write poetic fortune cookie messages. I wrote a list of humorous (and sometimes nerdy) rejected messages. I could’ve written more, but time didn’t allow for it.

Enjoy!

Day 20:
Braggart
By Nathan Marchand

He is a deadly combination:
A dunderhead with a massive ego.
He was fond of making rodomontades
About his many achievements:
The slaying of a bilious Cyclops,
The miraculous rescue of a maiden,
The invention of a clean energy generator.

He fancies himself non-pareil,
But I find truth to be elusive in his stories,
So I take them all with a grain of salt.
He is a boy who thinks himself a man,
Because he was abandoned by his cowbird father.
His tales are a thin veil he pulls over his face
To hide glasses that make him look like an ugly owl,
A cover-up for the potential he squandered,
To convince people he’s anyone but an oversized adolescent
You’d rather be upwind of after he eats cheese.

My words would be artillery against his ego
Had his skull not been thicker than a quahog.
Twice I have tried to help him,
But his mind remains in the gutter,
Collecting BS to sell to the gullible.
I pity him more than I could hate him
Because one day he’ll have nowhere to abscond from lies.

Day 21:
Rejected Fortune Cookie Messages
By Nathan Marchand

Never trust the next woman you meet who’s wearing a red dress.

The Doctor lies—just like you’ll learn your significant other does.

Talk to the next person you sit next to at a movie theatre—it might be a sweet beginning.

You will eat another fortune cookie, and its message will cancel this one out.

I am Batman, and so are you.

You’ll have a baby—even if you’re a man.

You will use more emoticons. J 😉 😀

You’ll notice this message doesn’t match your horoscope. Sorry.

You are the chosen one, I just don’t know what for.

Your lucky numbers are 5, 7, 9, 11, 16, 21, and 3,974,198.

NaPoWriMo, Days 18-19: ‘Unrequited’ and ‘Super-Nerd Seeking Impossible Love’

Yes, I fell behind again. Sorry!

Anyway, yesterday’s prompt was to write a poem that began and ended with the same word. Today’s was more interesting. I’m not sure how to explain it. It amounted to writing a humorously self-deprecating want-ad. I recommend reading the prompt description in the provided link.

Enjoy!

Day 18:
Unrequited
By Nathan Marchand

Love is a one-way street:
I go, but she does not come.
She acknowledges my words,
But she is deaf to them.
My gifts are received,
But she never returns the favor.
We spend time together,
But I feel trapped in the “friend zone.”
She lets me carry her heavy loads,
But does not fully appreciate the gesture.
I offer hugs in time of trouble,
Yet she neglects to shake my hand.
No disease plagues a man worse
Than the sickness of unrequited love.

Day 19:
Super-Nerd Seeking Impossible Love
By Nathan Marchand

It’s a bird!
It’s a plane!
It’s Super-Nerd!
I’m a Spider-Man, 29, seeking his Mary-Jane,
Which any woman would find absurd.
So, single is how I’ll remain—
Unless you’re that rare bird
Who won’t find me insane
For quoting “Star Trek” lines you’ve never heard.
You’ll think I’m someone to disdain
When I greet you wearing a “Doctor Who” costume, how absurd.
At least I tried, though you’re a woman I can’t attain.

NaPoWriMo, Days 16-17: ‘Misunderstanding’ and ‘Awestruck Greeting’

Once again, I was so busy yesterday  that I neglected to write a poem. I did make up for it by writing two today, but I didn’t follow yesterday’s prompt despite being a great exercise (“translate” a poem in a foreign). I did, however, follow today’s prompt: write a “poem of greeting.” So, without further adieu, here are two poems for you (hey, that rhymed! HA!)

Day 16:
Misunderstanding
By Nathan Marchand

Was it all a misunderstanding?
The year you admired me,
The day your attraction grew,
The flabbergasted joy of holding hands,
The adventures we shared?
Through it all, there was no love.
I was only a friend—
A friend who fell in love
For the first time in his life,
Who, despite no wrongdoing,
Was gently released and left alone,
Like a tamed animal abandoned in the wild.
You walked away without a drop of malice
While I, wounded, limped home
To lick wounds that may not heal.

Day 17:
Awestruck Greeting
By Nathan Marchand

I, surrounded by darkness, walked toward the light.
Touching it, I was enveloped by it, and transported
To gates of purest gold, shiner than bronze.
They opened wide and there stood a familiar stranger:
A face I had always imagined but never seen.
He, smiling, extended a scarred hand to me and said,
“Welcome, My servant, My child, My brother, My friend.”

I was awestruck at this, a sight beyond imagination.
Slowly, I raised my hand and took his, locking eyes with him.
He gripped my hand and pulled me into an embrace.
Overwhelmed surprise mingled with joy, I patted his back.
He said, “Well done! You’ve been good and faithful.
Come, share in my happiness. Your room awaits you.”
His hand motioned me toward a new home—my true home.

Words failed me, though I was a writer and a poet.
The day I longed for had come suddenly.
What should I say? Should I say anything?
I’d finally met the man I owed my eternity to,
Yet I couldn’t utter a grateful word or even a greeting.
I paused long to conceive a single sentence,
Finally saying, “Join me on a new adventure!”

NaPoWriMo, Day 15: ‘Together’

Today’s prompt was a tough one. It was to write a pantun, which “consists of rhymed quatrains (abab), with 8-12 syllables per line. The first two lines of each quatrain aren’t meant to have a formal, logical link to the second two lines, although the two halves of each quatrain are supposed to have an imaginative or imagistic connection.” I’m not sure the one I wrote is very good, but if you can tell me what TV show I referenced, I’ll give you a Stan Lee-style No-Prize.

Together
By Nathan Marchand

The statue touched him with its finger.
The angel made my true love vanish before me.
This time is a place I can no longer linger.
I’ll follow him despite the Raggedy Man’s plea.

NaPoWriMo 2013: Days 13 & 14: ‘Superman’ and ‘Captain America’

I wasn’t able to find time to do yesterday’s prompt, which was to take a walk and then write a poem based on what I saw. However, since I missed it, I decided to write two poems today. I also did it because today’s prompt excited me. It was to write a persona poem in the voice of a superhero. (What’s interesting is I wrote a poem about the Avengers last year, and now it’s a prompt!) As I said, I wrote two, one for each of my top two favorite superheroes. I’m not sure how good they are, but I hope you enjoy them.

Artwork by Alex Ross
Artwork by Alex Ross

Day 13:
Superman
By Nathan Marchand

Some call me, “Hero.”
Many call me, “Loser.”
I’m faster than a speeding bullet,
More powerful than a locomotive,
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I could rule mankind, but I’d rather serve them.
But to them, I am too good to be true.
Their “heroes” brood and kill.
They can understand them.

But I am the Man of Tomorrow.
I am who they wish to become,
Who they could one day become.
Deep in their hearts, they yearn for greatness.
They see me, and see who they aspire to be.
Perhaps that’s why they scoff at me:
They fear they can’t reach these heights.
If they will only cast aside all that hinders,
They will believe any man can fly.

Day 14:
Captain America
By Nathan Marchand

Once, I was a soldier fighting for freedom,
A weakling granted incredible power.
Now, I am a man out of time
Who awoke from a frozen slumber
To find the world had moved on—
And my country had changed.
Ideals, morals, and patriotism are scorned.
The freedoms I defended are surrendered.
The line between right and wrong is blurred.

I am a relic of a bygone era, a forgotten symbol.
I punched out Hitler, but I can’t knock out cynicism.
No longer do I wear the flag of America the country
But of America the ideal: the nation she was and could be.
To forget that would mean the Red Skull won,
It just took a few extra decades.
I am a soldier without a country, but I still have a cause.
To fight for the restoration of the land I love.
Let all who oppose my shield yield!

NaPoWriMo, Day 12: ‘The Devil’s Pawn’

Today’s prompt was one I wasn’t sure I wanted to do. It was to write a poem consisting of things I’d want to say, but never would, to someone I know. I went ahead and did it anyway. The person being addressed will remain anonymous for the sake of privacy. For the record, I longer associate with the person in question and the thoughts and feelings expressed herein don’t necessarily reflect my current opinions.

The Devil’s Pawn
By Nathan Marchand

You call me “narcissist,” “loser,” “predator,”
When all I ever did was love her.
Who is this man you fear will hurt her,
This man she must be protected against?
He is not I! I’ve done her no harm.
You are blind to the truth.

You think you know me,
That I’m just like the wretches
You see filling cells everyday.
But the only one I see is you:
The control freak who listens to nobody
And rules his household with an iron fist.

Only the perfect man will suit her,
So no man is worthy, in your mind.
No man except you, it seems.
Perhaps you should’ve married her
Since you are the greatest of men,
Except incest is a sin, even for you.

You dare chide me like a “brother”?
You are the Devil’s pawn,
A thorn in my side sent to torture me.
I pity you for becoming a tool.
There is no love, no trust, in you, only darkness.
You’re not my brother—he wouldn’t treat me such.

One day you will lose her in another man’s arms,
Or she will lose you to death’s cold touch.
Can you live without being the center of her universe?
Have you trained her to live without you?
Your “protection” is a prison for you both.
And you’ve left me caged by hate.

NaPoWriMo, Day 11: ‘He Beat Me’

Today’s prompt was to write a tanka, which is a poem with a syllable pattern of 5-7-5-7-7. Essentially, it’s a long haiku, although it usually has a twist ending. Here’s my contribution, which was inspired by a humorous misunderstanding I heard in the radio drama series, Adventures in Odyssey. Enjoy!

He Beat Me
By Nathan Marchand

He beat me last night.
He jumped me with his black king
Over and over.
Never again will I play
A game of checkers with him.

NaPoWriMo, Days 9 & 10: ‘Mystery of the Missing Poem’ and ‘Greed’

Yes, unfortunately I fell behind. So, I write two poems today to make up for it.

Yesterday’s prompt was to write a poem inspired by noir. Since I didn’t write a poem yesterday, I wrote one today that makes fun of me neglecting to write. It isn’t very good, but it should be entertaining.

Today’s prompt was to write an “un-love” poem. Read the post to understand what that means. I’m not sure mine fits that description. It’s a little too serious, I think. Regardless, I hope you enjoy.

Day 9:
Mystery of the Missing Poem
By Nathan Marchand

I’d just lit up my cigarette when she came in.
That cliché beautiful blonde who always bugged me.
Said it was April, which meant it was NaPoWriMo.
“What the H-E-double hockey sticks is that?” I asked.
“National Poetry Writing Month,” she replied.
“What does that have to do with me?”
“Someone was supposed to write a poem
For me yesterday, but he didn’t give it to me.
I need you to find it. Please, I beg you!”

She batted her overlong eyelashes at me.
I, also being a cliché, have a weakness for blondes,
So I took the job at a discounted rate.
Poor dame musta had her heart set on that poem.
She told me the poet was some guy from Indiana
Who had a knack for submitting poems at the last minute.
She gave me his address, which wasn’t far.
“I’ll probably be back before I finish my cig,” I said.
She cracked that beautiful as I walked out the door.

I found this poet’s place a few blocks away,
His apartment buried in the back of a decaying house.
Cool as a cucumber (I do love clichés), I opened the door,
And found the wide-eyed poet sitting at his typewriter.
“Beautiful dame tells me you owed her a poem yesterday,”
I said, exhaling smoke at him. “Where’s it at?”
Wringing his hands, he said, “It’s quite simple.
It was…stolen. By the mafia. The boss’s named Vinnie.”
He talked like a bad salesman selling me a car.

I dragged on my cig and said, “Look, kid, don’t lie to me.
Let’s make it simple: do ya or don’t ya have the poem?”
His head hung, he replied: “I forgot to write it.
I was busy visiting friends yesterday. Tell her
I’ll write two today to make up for it.”
“You better, kid, ‘cause I’ll be watchin’ you,” I said,
And exited the room, walking back to my office,
Where I know a blonde dame will be happy.
I wish every mystery were this easy.

Day 10:
Greed
By Nathan Marchand

She loves me…
No, she loves me not.
Her lovers are the greenbacks:
Jackson, Grant, and Franklin.
She finds security in their power
And not in my arms.
She comes to me, hoping
She can get to them through me,
But finds I’m Gilbert and not Mr. Darcy,
Who the greenbacks always favored.
So she took the coward’s path
And discarded me from afar,
Not daring to look me in the eye.
“Good riddance,” I say to hide my broken heart,
“Some say her lovers are root of all evil.
I doubt it, but her love for them certainly is.”

NaPoWriMo, Day 8: ‘Speech’

Today prompt was to write an ottava rima: an Italian poetic form that, in English, has the form of an eight-line stanza of iambic pentameter, with a rhyme scheme of a-b-a-b-a-b-c-c. My poem for the day should probably be longer and I’m not sure it follows iambic pentameter correctly. You be the judge.

Speech
By Nathan Marchand

I entered my speech for fun,
With no expectations of winning.
But to my surprise, I won.
The shock kept me from grinning.
“This can’t be true. I must be done.”
However, it was only the beginning.
I would stand before the proud legion
To give my graduation speech about Lincoln.

NaPoWriMo, Day 7: ‘The Question’

Today’s prompt was fairly simple: write a poem where each line is a declarative sentence, except for the last one, which must be a question. I decided to compose a humorous poem about a very old question (and make a mandatory Doctor Who reference). Enjoy!

The Question
By Nathan Marchand

From the dawn of time, it has been a mystery.
A question left unanswered throughout history.
No, you silly nerd, it isn’t “Doctor who?”,
It has caused far more hullabaloo.
Philosophers have pondered, but found no answer,
But they probably only did it to avoid brain cancer.
Even Jack Hanna, animal adventurer, is totally clueless.
(But perhaps that is his hubris).
So it will remain a question never understood—
How much wood could a woodchuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?