Dear Beloved,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? My apologies. I’ve had a tumultuous time wrestling with doubts about whether or not I’ll ever find you. Or rather, if God will ever lead us to each other. You know I go through times like that. Some are short, some not-so-short. But when I throw off the dead weight, I realize longing for you is part of how God wired me. To bury that would be to deny part of who I am. I must believe I’m not meant to be alone.

This letter is different. It is being shared on the Internet for friends and family to read. However, it will be the first and only time I do such a thing. Lovers are entitled to their secrets. Some people may read this and call me desperate, naïve, unmanly, or something worse. They may lecture me on “trusting God for a spouse” or “not looking” or a myriad of other things (I’ve heard them all). Let them. They can judge me, label me, and/or condemn me. I know where I stand with you, and I know where I stand with God. Their opinions can’t and won’t change that.

The mystery of who you may be both excites and pains me. Maybe I’ve not met you yet. Maybe you’re reading this letter right now on one of the sites I’ve posted it. Maybe we’re friends right now but love has yet to blossom. In which case, how did we meet? How will that love form? I hope and pray it’s a great story. While I still mock bad (or sappy) romance stories in fiction, I love it when they’re done well. I’m not foolish enough to think our story will be a romantic comedy or a fairy tale (though if it even remotely resembles “The Princess Bride”, I’ll be happy), I still want a love story that we’ll enjoy recounting to our kids and grandkids until we’re old and gray. A story that will amuse and encourage everyone who hears it. In other words, a story crafted by the Author of romance Himself. I hope that is your prayer, too.

Life should be an adventure. I’m working hard to add more adventure to my own. Not just a fun adventure, but an adventure with danger and high stakes; where I’m doing great things for God’s glory. That’s the sort of life I want to invite to join me on. When God said man shouldn’t be alone and made a “help-mate” (or in Hebrew, “ezer kenegdo,” which means “lifesaver”) for him, it was to join the man on the great work He had commissioned him to do. So, I hope you’re adventurous. Like Indiana Jones, I tend to get in over my head sometimes. I’ll need a partner who can help me get through it. I promise it’ll be exciting.

While I can promise an exciting marriage, but I can’t promise a wealthy one. We live in uncertain financial times and I studied to work in a field that doesn’t guarantee oodles of money. I’ve been hurt by a woman who found more security in a man’s money than in his love. It’s often left me wondering if I was too poor to marry. But I know God values wisdom above wealth, so I trust you do, too. A man who is rich but unwise is a terrible husband. “Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil” (Prov. 15:16). No matter what financial difficulties assail us, I know we’ll get through them together.

Though you may not know it, I’ve failed you. I’ve failed you in word, deed, and thought. And I know I’ll do the same when we’re together, though I won’t want to. This agonizes me. You deserve nothing less than a man who’s perfect. Then I tell myself, “No. She deserves a man who’s perfect for her.” I want to be this man for you. But when I am less than perfect, I pray you will forgive me. Loving you as Christ loves the church is a high ideal that I will spend the rest of my life trying to attain, and I will misstep along the way. May you love me regardless of my mistakes.

So, Beloved, whether we’ve met yet or not, pray for me as I pray for you. Don’t be afraid to voice your loneliness or your longing for me. Let the haters hate. Find friends and family who will encourage you to be even more of the woman of God I know you are as you wait. May God grant you patience now (you’ll need it to handle me). 😉

May we soon come together to serve God more than we ever could have apart.

Your (Future) Husband,
Nate